HUH ?

We get our sports every day. Figure it out. How many games do you listen to on the radio or watch on TV? Add to that all the sports reports you view or hear on ESPN, FOX, local and network TV and radio. In addition some of us still actually read sports articles in magazines, newspapers and on line. We are exposed to countless words delivered by hundreds of sports reporters. Having about 3,000 reporters covering the 150 players and coaches at the Super Bowl each year causes strange and confusing things to happen to our language. Or at least to the language our sports reporters use to "communicate with us". With the volume of communication growing at a rate that exceeds the sporting events being reported, reporters are inventing words and phrases faster than we can even pretend to understand them. We hear these words so often we don't even question where they cam form let alone what they mean. Try these few gems:    The House As in "Take it to the house". We all know this refers to a football player running the ball into the end zone. A punt or kickoff returner or a long run from scrimmage are favored reasons for reporters screaming "HE TAKES IT TO THE HOUSE"!!! Sorry, I don't get it, plus that sounds stupid. "Scores a touchdown" seems more clear and actually makes sense. This use of the word "house" or the phrase appears in no reference source.   Athleticism This is one of my favorites. Merriam-Webster tells us that these words mean…"an active interest in sports" and or " an obsessive participation in physical activity." Now when a ball player or group of players is described as possessing great athleticism we are programmed to understand great speed, quickness and leaping ability. You may like that word. Me? I am more comfortable with statements like "he is the quickest guy on the field", or "his jumping ability is unmatched". A simple "this guy is really athletic" would work really well.   Physicality This word is so stupid that many on line dictionaries don't even recognize it. One definition states: "intensely physical orientation…" and "predominance of the physical , usually at the expense of the mental, spiritual or social". Our reporter friends use this word referring to athletes that are very powerful, strong, and big. They usually hit and tackle very hard. Why reporters don't just say that, I have no idea.   In Space as in "he makes great plays in space", "he can really defend in space". Where is "in space"? What does this mean? It seems that a player can do great things playing one on one. Or a player can play very well in the open field. I think that is what it means. Is "in space" especially descriptive? No.   Perfect Sacrifice Bunt OK, this one doesn't really belong in this discussion. I heard the worst baseball announcer of any kind in history, Tim McCarver use this term. It seems the batter successfully sacrificed the runner from first base to second by bunting. Yo Tim! There is no perfect sacrifice bunt. There are successful sacrifice bunts and unsuccessful sacrifice bunts. There is no such thing as an OK sacrifice bunt, a really good sacrifice bunt, one of the best sacrifice bunt I have ever seen. They are either successful or not.   See, all of this is really, really simple. The rest of it is just artificial complexity, just wind in the trees.

Alex & Rush

Alex   Sometimes my own views get in the way of my own views. This is one of those times. Alex Rodriguez is truly without question the best baseball player of our time. The steroid thing is a valid blot but he has been what every legendary player has been throughout the history of The Best Game. All that being the case in the interest of full disclosure I must state I have never been a fan of his. I am not going to itemize the reasons; they are all the typical ones. But A-Rod is one of the all time greats. HOWEVER, his sterling performance in this year's post season has resulted in a few of baseball's media types to make their usual over the top declarations. I hate that!   Recently one of A-Rod's "post season" numbers (which stat is not important) apparently tied or surpassed that of Lou Gehrig. I am not going to go into the detail, well, OK a little. Yes A-Rod is having a nice post season, batting >400 with 11 RBI and 5 HR so far. And without question this has been his most productive post season. Well, his most productive since he got to New York. Anything he did prior his Big Apple days is generally not reported. Yes, in the NY postseasons of 2004-2007 Alex hit a mortal .274 and the more recent 2005-2007 he hit .159. Several New York fans and sports writers questioned whether hitting .159 meets the expectations of a $25 million salary.   How does that hitting compare with Lou Gehrig? I try to keep things simple because a lot of us are not that bright. See, Gehrig's career post-season batting average was .361. That looks pretty good. The more important point here is Gehrig hit .361 in career World Series games. There was no "post season", just the World Series. The reason that is important is A-Rod's numbers are ALL post season, he has NEVER had single World Series at bat. Not one.   So if any of us must compare any of today's greats with yesterday's legends, be accurate. There is the playoffs and there is the World Series. Keep that straight. As a matter of fact, don't compare A-Rod with Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Stan Musial or any other classic legend. In this case, A-Rod himself is not to blame. It just upsets me.       Rush   Like Alex, I really do not like Rush Limbaugh. Even if I did agree with him politically (I don't) I wouldn't like him. I know, maybe if I got to know him…but I doubt it. Rush is one of those guys I would invite over late in the evening if I were trying to get my party guests to go home. OK, enough of that.   Recently Rush was dumped as a minority owner by a group interested in buying the St> Louis Rams NFL team. Word is he was dropped because of his political views. I think it is possible that he was dropped because he is a jerk, or the other guys didn't like him. At any rate, I really didn't think this was a big deal. Although he has a lot more followers, Rush is right up there with Paris Hilton on my list of interesting people. Further, I know a lot of people who were equally NOT captivated by this story. It took Rush himself to reveal the true significance of this injustice. Read the following words from Rush:       "This is about the future of the United States of America and what kind of country we're going to have,"   Wow, was I ever off base. I didn't think anything about the NFL, let alone its owners were related to the future of our country. Limbaugh and others referred to fairness and "free enterprise" in debating the injustice. The National Football League owners are as involved in free enterprise and free markets as bankers and insurance company executives.  But the simple point here is that the NFL ahs nothing to do with fairness or open anything. It is no different than a county club. You aren't rich, sorry, You are Jewish, black (not a millionaire celebrity), Latino take a hike. Gay, see ya. This is a private group and they can do whatever they want with whoever they want.   So Rush, finds no reason to support equal rights for gays, equal pay for women or equal opportunity in hiring. But he does support our equal right to be a part owner of the Rams. If I really understood this I would be confused. I would make a little sense if it were the Yanks or the Lakers, but Rush, the Rams?

I don’t get it

When it comes to confusion most sports provide plenty. The best, most enjoyable sports there are cross my  eyes.  All year long I bathe in baseball, college football and NFL football. The NBA? Nope, I live in Seattle, I care as much about the NBA as the NBA cares about Seattle. The other sports, they shape my life, at least the part that is shallow and really doesn't mean much. So, help me understand just a few things, I am pretty sure I am alone in my confusion: Major League Baseball 1)      If the maximum number of playoff games were played this year we would see 19 games in 35 days. Now we know that will not happen as several of the first round series did not go the maximum. However, 19 games in 35 days? Who painted that masterpiece? The regular season sees 162 games played in about 183 days. What that means is during the six month regular season each team gets 18 off days (or days off). That figures to one day off for every nine days / games.  Now, enter the post season. We see 17 off days! Or one off day for every 1.1 games played. Sit down, take a deep breath and have a drink, or several. Then send me a note explaining this.  I know all about television and ratings but it is OCTOBER!!! It is cold and I am in Seattle, warmer than half the cities in the league! Hey Baseball, play 4-5 games a week and finish the playoffs ten days earlier!  Otherwise we will see more of what we saw in Denver or Minneapolis. 2)      Which brings to mind the shiny new Target Field in Minneapolis set to open in 2010. The park looks simply ballpark gorgeous. Finally a park just for the Twins, intimate 40,000 seats and OUTDOOR baseball! Can you spell BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR? September is a pretty nice month in Minneapolis, temperature averages in the 50-60+ range. Things get a little nasty quickly in October as this past weekend's two inch snow showed. The average temperature for April in the Twin Cities is 49 degrees.  Oh, sorry, that was the average HIGH, the average low for April is 30 degrees. Precipitation is 29.5 annually with 15 inches of it falling in the May-August time period. Can the Twins take a 120 day road trip? Say what you want about retractable roofs they guarantee games will be played. In places like Seattle and probably Minnesota fans come from a wide geographic area. Being confident of no rain outs is a big boost  for attendance.   For about 15-30% more cost zero rain outs is a huge pay back. Good evening Twins fans and welcome to    electric underwear night. NFL 1)      Rush Limbaugh apparently is interested in buying partial ownership in the St. Louis Rams. Yo Rush, buying a piece of Enron would be cheaper and probably a better investment. On top of that the NFL is taking a hard look at whether Limbaugh meets NFL ownership  "standards". Yeah, we know the NFL must protect that multi BILLION dollar branding, but who really cares who owns teams?  And although I agree with Limbaugh on nothing he is in a dead heat with Paris Hilton on the who cares meter. Limbaugh wants to own part of the Rams? I know which part he will end up with and it is not the end that eats! College Football 1)      Notre Dame faces USC this Saturday in South Bend. This annual piece of drama for the last seven years has been pretty much drama-free. USC has won seven in a row with only one of the games being close at all.  ND coach Charlie Weise this week said "This is the first time since I've been here that they (our players) believe they  are going to  win". Huh??? Yo, Charlie, that is what the Domers get for their $4 million a year? It took you six seasons to get your plyers to even believe they can win? Large Charlie sports a sterling 14-16 record since 2007. He has led ND to a 0-6 record against top ten teams. Jeeeeeeez, imagine what the Irish could do with a $10 million coach!       And don't forget… -In 1961 Roger Maris hit 61 home runs, but didn't hit his first that season until April 26, two weeks int the season -In 1928 the Pacific Coast League Hollywood Stars became the first team to travel by air. Really? Why? -An unidentified batter on facing Sandy Koufax, "Against that guy we should all get four strikes!" -And…yes, prior to 1931 all balls that bounced over or went through the outfield fence were considered home runs.

Yeah, Right !!!

A few assumptions that nobody will claim....now: 1) The PAC-10 is a conference of strong offenses. OK, forget WSU, they don't exist. USC will get respectable as soon as the young QB comes around. With 457 yards this past Saturday that should be soon. Oregon looks as explosive as ever. The Huskies may actually develop into something respectable offensively. The rest? The offenses are little, well offensive. UCLA, WSU, Oregon State all stumbled to less than 300 yards total offense this past weekend. CAL with RB Jahvid Best listed as a Heisman possible ran up 85 yards in 25 carries. Oregon State, UCLA and ASU all had less than 100 rushing yards Saturday. The conference will be as week as it ever has been this year. USC and Oregon will be on top as expected and Stanford looks like a solid number three. But CAL is a train wreck and  the rest look ordinary at best. That East Coast bias at least for this year won't be a bias. 2) Ready for The Playoffs? The best sport there is, Major League Baseball gets it going Tuesday night with the Tigers-Twins one game stumble-off. I am glad to see the Twins sneak in but neither of these really belong. The AL is the Yanks and the rest. If the Angels play like they did a couple months ago they can get some of their fans to actually show up for the first inning. Boston will not make noise this year. Ortiz needs to be replaced  or reborn and Sox fans don't believe it but they may miss Manny forever. Many like St Louis and with starting pitching (Wainwright & Carpenter) to go with Albert they could easily get to The Series  with only  three players. Because those three are the best and the National League is well, not the best. Of course the Cards had the good fortune to play 25% of their games against Houston, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati. For msot of the first half of this season the Dodgers looked like the cream, but that cream has spoiled a little in the lst month. The Phils really look a littel suspect on the mond ant the ROckies are....c'mon. the Rockies?  Look fot the Yanks (maybe Angels) and the Cards to duke it out in the Series. 3) The  Seahawks can still make noise in the NFL. Does wretching count as noise? The Hawks are deader than disco. And those of you who thought they were great before the injuries, ask your doctor to add some reality to that flu  shot. And my favorite quote from Red SOx owner Harry Frazee in January 1920 after selling Babe RUth to The Yankees: "I believe the sale of Babe Ruth will ultimately strengthen the team."

What Des It All Mean?

There are two points of time during our sporting year where things kind of collide. Or at least they merge, mingle if you will (what the &$#@** does "if you will" mean?). Well, at least our games coexist. They mix together. You get it, right?   Every March college basketball starts sprinting towards the NCAA tourney while the NBA poises for its gripping three-month playoff. I know, it seems longer than three months but really, the ancient Hebrews wondered in the wilderness only slightly longer than an NBA season.  And while that is gripping us baseball dangles spring training out there. No matter how lousy your teams might be at least one of them promises enough to get you a little juiced every March.   The other riveting point in the year is right now, September. Our baseball teams are sliding into playoff mode. Or continuing their wait til next year mode. Or reconfirming their "not in your grand daughter's lifetime" commitment to losing. At the same time college football is hitting the gas, enabling millions of generally respectable citizens to behave like lunatics within the realm of something called "tailgating". And on top of that the NFL launches its annual fleecing of fans. After charging the same ticket prices for preseason games (played by temporary "players") as they do for regular season games fans actually find the regular season a bargain There is just so much going on we barely have time for county fairs and worrying about terrorists.   So where does that leave us? Jim Mora, Seahawks coach after losing to Da Bears noted that losing two in a row in the NFL is like losing 20 in a row for a baseball team. He lost you, didn't he? See, Jim's point is that 2 games is equal to 12.5% of an NFL season which figures out to 20 baseball games or 12.5% of 162.  Ummm, well, Jim you lost me on that as well. Only the 1961 Phillies (23) and the 1988 Orioles (21) in modern time have lost as many as 20 games in a row. I didn't look it up but my guess is losing two games in a row has happened a lot more than twice in the last 40 or so NFL seasons. So Jim's point? There is no point. If you think you understand the point, you are insane, get help.   Here is what seems to matter at this glorious time:   The Yanks are in, Boston and the Angels will be. Detroit and Minnesota will wrestle with the opportunity to humiliate themselves by reaching the playoffs with a worse record than Texas, who will NOT make it at all The National league will be a little more credible in its own inferior way. The Dodgers and the Cards are in, the Phils will be. Colorado should parlay its 2.5 game lead over Atlanta to slide into the wild card. Fans can only hope for the Dodgers to get hot enough to provide a competitive Series. Otherwise the Yanks and Angels should duke it out for the rings.   Ichiro's streak of NOT having gone two consecutive hitless games was halted at 180.   This all means something, but not very much, not yet.   All NFL teams have either two or three games under their belts. And no, I do not know why any team needs a bye in week one or two. With all due respect to Coach Mora a mere 14 out of 32 NFL teams are undefeated with 12 at 3-0. Jim would remind us that a three game NFL winning streak is the same as a 30 baseball game winning streak   All is know is NO (as in none, ZERO) major league baseball team has ever won 30 games in a row. What does it all mean? Absolutely nothing, nil, zero. Glad to get that clear.   Oh yeah, a bunch of "ranked" college teams really stepped in it this weekend. Number four Ole Miss lost by six, Penn State sitting at number five tanked by 11, CAL at number 6 was clocked by 39 and number nine Miami got trashed by 24. Not only did FOUR of the top ten teams in the country lose, only one of the games was even close. And before Yom Kippur is even over UCLA is the only remaining undefeated team in the PAC-10. And we already are hearing BCS sniveling and whining from Boise?  What does all of this really mean? This all means, again absolutely nothing. Words cannot describe how little this all means.    So just take all of this, mix it up and swallow it whole. Take it daily, with plenty of liquids. And as you do you will feel happy, sad, joy, anger and before you know it…. it will be March.   Trivia question:   When he first joined the Yankees what number did the greatest hitter of all time, Babe Ruth wear?   Answer: He wore no number. It was not until 1929 that the Yanks added numbers to the player uniforms. Ruth batted number three so he was given 3. Gherig batted behind Ruth and was given 4.        .

Double Tall?

Words are just words and phrases are just phrases until we tie them to some sports related connotation. Then the word collections become more than meaningful. The words and phrases become something that they never were before. Consider this:   Just when we think the spirit of service in this country has died, innovation and drive has been abandoned and striving for perfection just doesn't happen anymore….well, we are reassured. The following was reported Wednesday and apparently (allegedly) happened right here in the great Puget Sound region: Five Everett baristas accused of prostitution "Investigators saw the women expose their crotches, lick whipped cream off their co-workers' private parts and pose naked for pictures inside the Grab-n-Go espresso stand on Broadway," The Everett Herald reports. Detectives also saw some of them charge customers to touch their bare breasts and buttocks, which falls under the city's definition of prostitution. Regardless of your view of this activity you must admire the drive and creativity involved. After all, these are not prostitutes, these are coffee sellers!  And they don't work at The Coffee Corral, the Java Hut or Cup-A-Jo Joint. They work at the Grab-N-Go! If this article were written by a typical sports media type not only would the words be very different, the message we receive would be even more different. These workers, they are just taking it to the next level to sell that coffee. These players obviously know how to perform in space. Wouldn't you say that they probably significantly improved their performance as they got more and more reps? I would. I do not question for one minute that these ladies were told to be the guy, get the job done and (of course) to step up. This is all about taking it to the next level. I am sure they have their package ready and are ready to be really physical as they play every snap. So all of this may land some hard working folks on the wrong side of some courtroom. Regardless of the results I would bet more than one satisfied customer declared " this is huge!"   .  .

Bad Honeymoon Management

Three games into the 2009 season and Husky football coach Steve Sarkesian has done everything right. He has energized the fans including the alums. He has made significant recruiting progress. And, best of all the results on the field have been, well, off the charts. So what, if anything has Sark done wrong?  Well, he has done a little too much, a little too fast. He is guilty of bad honeymoon management.   What is honeymoon management? Under normal circumstances the new coach comes in, does exactly what Sark has done…up until this past Saturday. The accepted norm would have been a hard fought loss to USC, say, 21-17 or so. A better, closer feel good loss than the LSU game, but a loss nonetheless. THEN, on September 26 go down to The Farm and upset Stanford to break a then 11 game PAC-10 conference game losing streak. The Dawgs would then be 2-2 heading for South Bend for a game with Notre Dame nobody would expect to win.   But nooooooooooooo! Sark has to rally these vagabonds and dump the Trojans. He and the Dawgs got greedy; they decided a signature win should be against a team considered in the top four nationally, not top four in the state of California.   Well, all I have to say is: Way to go Sark!!! You have Husky fans all whacked out over:   1)      Should UW be ranked higher than #24 (no, they shouldn't be ranked at all until they beat Stanford…oops, I mean IF they beat Stanford)   2)      What Bowl game should the Huskies play in? (The #6 team goes to the Poinsettia in San Diego on December 23. At least a few fans have already stated that bowl stinks and would be a slap in the face of the previously 12-47 Huskies. (I agree, I would prefer any of the bowl games the Dawgs played in the last four years!)   3)      Stanford being favored by NINE (9) points over the Huskies is insulting and   disrespectful. I agree, Vegas bookies have no respect at all for the Huskies. They are willing to lose millions of dollars on an inflated spread just to "dis the Dawgs".   4)      Husky coaches Sark and Holt better get enormous raises soon or they will both leave for greener pastures. The day may well come when Holt leaves for a head coaching job. My guess is he will not be going back to Idaho. Holt is probably among the highest paid non-head coaches in the country so don't worry about him replacing the Wiz (Mike Price at UTEP). And Sark, well his next job will be as an NFL head coach. By the time that happens Jim Mora may be available.   So losing to USC, beating Stanford and say, Arizona, Oregon State, UCLA and WSU would have put Sark and the Dawgs at 5-7, middle of the PAC for 2009. Sark would have been coach of the year in the conference and on his way to a bowl game 7+ win season in 2010. Now?   Now, if the Dawgs lose to Stanford somebody could get hung in effigy. And if the Dawgs DON"T win at least six games this year they will be labeled by some (including "fans") as a disappointment.    The UW Athletic department has hired strength coaches, quality control people, academic advisers and others. Stanford being favored by NINE (9) points over the Huskies is insulting and   disrespectful There are wedding planners out there. Somebody at the UW should have hired a honeymoon planner. .